Chronicles of Bannania

Fungi

2006-11-04T10:43:00.000-08:00

A great year for fungi in the forest near here,I have never seen so many.
Fly agaric,Boletus and magnificent displays of the rather cheeky Phallus Impudicus.
Funny things fungi,last year there were hardly any,this year they have gone mad.
I don't know much about the different types so don't pick any of them (we definitely have both Death and Panther caps in the woods,both deadly poisonous).

Lionheart

2006-10-28T06:58:00.001-07:00

Well,second vistit of the year to a "famous English Safari park" over and done with (had to go back to finish tickets,too busy last time).
What a scruffy and unprepossesing lot we Brits are.The parade of cheap ,ill fitting clothes and fat kids was quite something to see (better than the safari park really).
Worst of all was the boat ride round the lake (with seals,hippos (2) and gorillas).Thing was the adults hogged the side of the boat so the kids (and any dwarves on board) could hardly see.
When I was little the grown ups would often make way for the children to see,not nowdays,the "grown ups" behaved worse than the kids.Seeing a fat Essex tart squealing "ooh look a seal" while her little girl could only view her enormous bum (about the same size as a hippos but not as interesting) was quite upsetting.What happened to the old British sense of fairplay ?
Stomped out of us by selfishness and exposure to "foreign" ways I suppose.
I shall continue to instill in my daughhter a sense of fair play and politeness but I think I'm fighting a losing battle.

S.P.Q.R.

2006-10-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

Well,brother and his partner have taken mum (age 76) to Rome.
Jolly good luck to them,she has only ever been abroad once (day trip to France) and never flown !
Still they got there O.K. (e-mail) but mum managed to fall asleep mid-sentence due to tiredness and lack of food !
Can't say I envy them,I love Rome but it is a stressful place if you don't know the ropes.Crazy traffic,"gypsy "thieves,rude waiters,hills,uneven pavenments and,well,general Felliniesque madness.
She wants to see the sights,can't say I blame her,everyone should try to go and marvel.
It really knocks spots of Paris or Madrid for things to see (history wise) and IMHO the food and clothes are better than in France (and cheaper).
Maybe I should take mum next year,it would be my 6th time.

Tomorrow belongs to ?

2006-10-25T04:21:00.000-07:00

Intersting movement towards an English parliament (at last) in that a pressure group has managed to meet with M.P's.
It is blatantly unfair that the Welsh,Scots and Irish can have independant assemblies and yet the English (still the majority in this country) are denied.Palmed off with EU backed "Regional assemblies".
The EU seems to want England to disappear becoming instead a selection of "Regions".The government even refers to the "Nations and Regions of Britain" with Endland being "the regions".
Well it's NOT good enough and I think we are seeing the worms turn.
The English are becoming a repressed majority ! and a lot of us don't like it.
A lot of people of my age do not regard Britain as part of Europe,we have always been somewhat seperate (the water helps).It sticks in the craw to have laws made in Brussels that contradict the established laws of England.
Interesting time ahead I think.
Could get messy.

Fight for you right to..

2006-10-23T06:57:00.000-07:00

Parteeey,phew,this years kid's party over and done with.
11 10 year olds in one house is NOT a good plan.All went reasonably well (planning,dear boy,planning) except the pinata.Jeeeezz did they get over excited (Coke + sugary foods probably didn't help).One kid got a whack in the face with the pinata stick (head didn't split open,rats).
The sight of them all fighting over a few shitty cheap sweets was truely unedifying.
Still daughter was happy and that's what it was all about really.
Next year I'm going to Iceland for her birthday.

Winge

2006-10-19T03:22:00.000-07:00

Well finally got the "special" metal tabs for my woodburner,cheap little metal things I could have got for 50p in any hardware store.£17 the charged me,daylight robbery.
Managed to put the "glass" (actually a ceramic) in and a tiny sliver pinged off for no apparent reason ! I am going to be well pissed if it cracks again at £55 a pop.
Shit like this doesn't do my blood pressure any good.Still it's done now.
Other calamaties this morning include a broken light fitting and top of the pile,my dear lady wife has left the freezer door ajar FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A WEEK ! AAAARCGH,luckily I caught it in time this time,had to throw all of the food out at the weekend though.Must have been £100 worth of stuff wasted.
And now she does it again,what can I do,short of tattooing "CLOSE THE RUDDY DOOR" across her forehead I don't seem to be able to get the message across.
And that,gentle reader,is why I stay home and do the housewifey stuff and she goes out to work.
Were it the other way round we would live like pigs in a house with no food.
Bah.

You couldn't make it up !

2006-10-17T06:53:00.000-07:00

Seems the recent council elections in Belgium have thrown up some "interesting" things.
There is a party there "Vlaams Belang" that is staunchly anti-immigrant and in favour of Flemish devolution.
In order to keep them out the socialist have not only given thousand s of immigrants voting rights but have chosen candidates from "ethinic minorities" where they think this will help win votes.
One of the candidates for the Christian Democrats in Antwerp was a Turkish immigrant.Turns out he belongs to the "White wolves" in Turkey.These folks are the same ones that tried to of f the Pope a few years back and are most definitely NOT democratically minded.
So,in order to win votes,the "Christian democrats" have chosen a "Muslim Fascist" as a candidate.
Way to go chaps.Shows they will do ANYTHING to keep in power.
Expect to see more of this sort of thing in Europe as the Left court the immigrant vote.
I reckon it will bite them on the arse before too long.

Two for the price of one.

2006-10-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

So many little irritating things in my life at the moment.Spent most of Saturday struggling with the door of my woodburner (cracked glass) as usual with such things a "simple" job turns out to be an expensive nightmare.The replacement glass cost me £55 and the tiny metal clips to hold it in place another £17 ! (WTF FOR ?) and,of course,each screw was determined to stay where it was.Took me hours and I still had to leave one in !
Then I have to organise a party for my daughter's birthday on Friday,got to get games sorted,food,presents etc.
All this while wheezing from a chest infection and being unable to sleep more than 4 hrs a night.
Now my brother wants to come stay for a couple of day (nice really but extra work for moi).
Add to that the fact it's autumn and the garden is knee deep in leaves and windfall apples (shitty tasting too) and plums.
I don't handle pressure well these days,I know it's all petty stuff and I shouldn't whinge,but I feel like crawling into a fetal position and wimpering in a corner.

Apple blossom time

2006-10-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

Well I am pleased to say I was wrong about my favourite orchard having closed.Hooray.
I can now get my Red Pippins,Egremont Russets and Asmeads Kernels again.
This is soooo great,these apples taste nothing like the ones you buy in supermarkets they are,quite frankly,delicious.Full of flavour and interest.
This area is famous for it's orchards but many have been closed in recent years (not profitable I guess).
It is a great loss English apples are a national treasure,try some if you can there are hundreds of varieties.
Don't put up with the tasteless crap sold by the supermarkets,they are grown for looks not taste.
I shall be stuffing as many down my gullet as possible while the season lasts.

All things bright and beautiful

2006-10-05T04:04:00.000-07:00

Sweet little harvest festival service by my daughter's school this morning,there's only just over 100 kids so it was held in the local chapel,all very nice.
Except for one damn woman with her bratty kids in the audience.Bloody kid kept shouting "Helloooo" every 2 seconds like some retarded tape recording.The "mother" did absolutely nothing to try to shut the kid up.Spoilt the whole thing for everyone.
Now I knowJesus loves the little children and all but I think even he would have a few words to say to this specimen.
No respect for the church,the rights of others and the children struggling to be heard over his squalling.
Oh.for the days when a quick whop round the ear would have sorted him out.
Bloody heathens.

Store wars

2006-10-04T02:17:00.000-07:00

I have been using the same online grocery service for 3 years.
Now they have decided to "improve" the site by adding another security page
.Meaning yet another password to remember.
Great I now have about 50000 different passwords for different sites (I may be paranoid but I don't like using the same one,just in case not everyone who can access it is 101% honest).
I am getting on in years now,trying to remember all this is a pain in the butt,so I write them down,great security huh ?
Ah well,another petty annoyance today is that both American rice and Cooking apples are "unavailable" !
Cooking apples unavailable in October WTF !
They'll be short of turkey at Christmas next.

Russia with love

2006-09-28T07:32:00.000-07:00

I was thinking today about the Russians we encountered in Turkey.
I was "lucky" enough to visit Trabzon both before and immediately after the changes in Eastern Europe.
Thing was first time they had a Russian market,which sold the most appaling crap.Broken dolls,nasty Russian ciggies and cheap vodka + really ghastly stained clothes that any self respecting tramp would sniff at.
Second time,after the change,the market was full and I mean full of the most amazing stuff,mainly military.Guns,rubber assault craft,rocket launchers.Incredible.I am sure they would have got you a tank if you'd asked.
Not long after,guns became more common in this country.Hmmm.
Wonder where they came from.
The break up of Russia might have been good for them but I don't think it was quite so good for the rest of us.

People are strange

2006-09-26T02:00:00.000-07:00

My thoughts have been turning to some of the strange people I have encountered over the years.
Not the "abnormal" ones but those who function apparentley well in everyday life.
Like the woman who used to come to the plant department when I worked at the Army and Navy stores in London.She was quite young,Eastern European sounding and ALWAYS dressed in black including a furry hat EVEN IN SUMMER.She would always ask the name of the person serving her and would say
"Zo,Jenny,I vany a YUKKA".
Always a yucca,never anything else,she must have ordered dozens of the things.Odd.
Then there was an old friend whose ex-wife is now married to another friend.
He would count the peas and potatoes on his dinner plate and refuse to eat it unless there were even numbers.
Nor would he leave the house with an odd number of coins in his pocket.
Strange,drove his "wife" mad.
Can you imagine having to count peas every time you served dinner !

Little Green ones

2006-09-23T05:55:00.000-07:00

Boy am I upset,our local supplier of good English apples has closed down.
No one else had such a good selection,where am I to get my Ashmead's Kernel or Kidd's orange now ?
The crap they sell in supermarkets hardly deserve the name apple.
We would get through 5 or 6 lbs a week and now NOTHING.
I need to hunt down another grower.
Bet they don't have the really interesting stuff though.Last year we had a few Court Plat Pendu an apple that is alleged to date back to Roman times and several other really old varieties.
They knock (black) spots o ff the likes of Spartan and Golden delicious (a traversty of a name if ever there was one).
A sad day indeed.

Odd.

2006-09-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

Now here's a strange thing.
Took delivery of a CD I ordered from America via Amazon.Nothing strange there,it's a lot cheaper £4.99 instead of £9.99
Thing is on looking at the CD I see it is "Made in UK" !
So,it's been halfway round the world,turned around and come back home and yet still costs less than if I placed the order here !
Now I know about econmies of scale and such but it don't make sense to me.

Tuesday,nothing.

2006-09-19T06:52:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to talk about really,spent much of the morning trying to sort out our "problem floor".
Long story but basically we are waiting for wood flooring to be laid on concrete.
Had to have a new concrete floor as old wood floor had been built straight onto the earth !
An unusual building technique that meant it was riddled with damp.
We are hopefully nearing the stage where it can be relaid,it's taken nearly a year to dry out.
Sometimes having an old house is a pain.
200 years of accumulated problems.Still wouldn't change it.I am very fond of the old place.

The Fall

2006-09-18T02:59:00.000-07:00

Looks like autumn is almost here in the "hill country" the leaves are slightly turning and there are lots of mushrooms (No not that kind) in the woods.
Time to get busy round the old homestead getting ready for winter (damp and grey as usual I bet).
Spent much of yesterday re-roofing the shed and have many other annoying little "handyman" tasks to do.
WHICH I HATE.I am really a G.S.E (get someone else) person rather than D.I.Y.but lack or ready funds means I must try and do stuff.
Will the house stand up to the gales this year ?
The jury is out on this one.

Badinage

2006-09-16T05:04:00.000-07:00

Just been watching,via youtube,an old clip of one of my favourite (at the time) bands X-ray Spex doing there "anthem" Oh Bondage Up Yours.
Well,at about the 2,.20 mark there is the head of a guy (back view) that could and I say COULD be my old mate Dave.If so then I am there too as we went to many "gigs" togther back in the day.
How exciting,I may possibly have almost featured in an obscure punk rock video.
I am famous at last.
I was also pushed in the back once by Sid Viscious (at the Marquee,I seem to remember Nico on the bill) but have not photographic evidence for the incident.
Brushes with fame give one quite the "frisson".

Food shortages.

2006-09-14T02:28:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a "major online supermarket" I am practically out of food.
What happened was that I had a call on the morning I was supposed to get delivery to say "the server had gone down,my order was lost,you will not be charged,fuck off".
I was told I need to resubmit an order,of course all delivery slots were pre-booked until Friday.Great.
I decided to ring "customer services" the conversation went in this fashion

"Hello,customer services in what way can I tell you to fuck off ?"
"You lost my order you fuckwits,are you going to put it right,I have been a customer for 3 years spending thousands of pounds at your store ?"
"Deary me,how sad,however you mistake me for someone that actually cares.I am in fact paid a miserly wage and am waiting to go to lunch.I will make a "log" on your complaint,file it in ignore and tell you to fuck off,thank you for calling"

Now,I know mistakes happen and it's not anyones fault that the computer threw and wobbly but what really pissed me off is there seems to be no method of insuring those customers let down have a priority in the next batch of deliveries.It is everyman for himself
Fine if we were talking shoes or dvd's but FOOD.
I have one piece of fresh fruit left.My only option is to use the local "Quickymart" where everything costs 3 times as much and the fruit was picked sometime in 1987.
Thanks guys.

9/11

2006-09-12T01:55:00.000-07:00

Made the mistake yesterday of watchig a video of the "jumpers" from the World Trade Center.
I still feel very sad and angry watching these poor people having to choose "the best" way to die.
Thing is ,I notice in myself,that I feel a conection with them,they were like me and my family,ordinary workers going about their daily business and fatally interupted by something they had no influence on.
I feel for them.
I also watched a video of a Lebanese child,killed in the recent conflict,having his poor little body manipulated by a Lebanese "official" so that the video "looked" more dramatic.
Thing is I didn't feel the same connection,more a "war is bad,poor kid but that's the way it goes in war" sort of feeling.
Does this make me a bad person.
I guess I am beginning to see it as an "us and them" situation.
I fear that "battle lines" are being drawn around the world.
Doesn't look good to me.

Turkey trots.

2006-09-11T03:53:00.000-07:00

Another rememberance of Turkey is the violent bouts of diahorrea I suffered there.
Curioulsy both in the town of Erzerum.
First time round all I ever saw of Erzerum was a hotel washbasin and toilet.I literally didn't know which end to point at which bowl."Luckily" I could sit on the loo with my head in the basin.Thereby killing two birds with one stone.
Never have I suffered such uncontrollable shits,I thought I would poop my spleen out.I heard tale of cases so violent that people were wrapped in plastic for the coach journey to the next destination.EEWW.
Anyway,second trip I decided to be ultra careful.No food,no drink from dirty cans,no local water.
Good idea.Nope,forgot one tiny detail ICE CUBES,made from local water and.of course,choc full of the poopy bugs.Same result AGAIN ! (same Hotel too !)
Luckily I was smart enough to go and see some of the sights as soon as we arrived.Got collared by a carpet seller,our tour guide panicked because we were so long and was just on the verge of calling the cops.
(2 tourists had been kidnapped by the PKK close by very recently).
Lesson learnt there,ice cubes are made from water.
Won't get caught by that again.

One for the "laydeez"

2006-09-10T04:53:00.000-07:00

Here's another blurry photo from Turkey.
It's ME,having a fag on the sacred stone of the Hittites at Hattusas.
Sorry Hittite thunder god dude,won't do it again.

Hooray,hooary it's a holi-holiday.

2006-09-10T04:31:00.000-07:00

Chatting online to someone yesterday reminded me of the trips we took several years ago to Turkey.
I hesitate to call them holidays because we covered a lot of ground.It was quite hard going at times but worth every minute.
We were lucky enough to get to Eastern Turkey which,at this time,was periodically on "lock down" due to the then Gulf war and the internal troubles with the Kurdish seperatists (PKK).
We managed to hit a "window of opportunity" which allowed us to visit places like Van (yuk),Ani (the ancient Armenian capital) and Erzerum (DON'T ASK,2 visits 2 cases of the worst "screaming shits" ever).

Anyway one of the highlights for me was the Churches (now ruined of course) of Armenian and ,especially ,Georgian origin.

See pictures (a bit blurry I fear,I am a bit computer illiterate !)

Another "highlight" was our stay at the town of Sarakamus (spelling ?) in the most BIZARRE hotel ever.

The place was a "hunting" lodge popular with the Russian and was FULL and I mean FULL of stuffed dead animals.A bear holding souvenir handbags stood in the hall and the dining room was an extravaganza.

Having dinner watched by the glassy eyes of a dead mother wolf complete with baby wolf balanced on her back was definitley a new experience.

Then there was to rooms,dirty,sure but decorated in a unique "style" some had balloons we had huge christmas decoration foil stars and an enourmous poster of the Swiss Alps (took up the whole wall)

What a place,add to that the "town" (Mudville) and the simply ENORMOUS vegetables (cabages the size of a small house) in the shops and it was fascinating.

Four cough.

2006-09-09T03:09:00.000-07:00

Well,I've had a kind invitation to ""earn a little on the side" wink".
Now let me see,shall I click on that link or not.
On reflection I think not,on account of not being totally stupid and all.
If I want to earn money I'll work for it (or scrounge off the wife).

Interesting times

2006-09-08T03:47:00.000-07:00

"Interesting" news from Belgium,17 people (mainly soldiers) have been arrested for alledgedly plotting to "undermine the countries institutions" by "terror" attacks.The are accused of being "extereme right wingers".
What is interesting is the reporting of the incident by the BBC which includes accusations that the Vlaams Belang party is an "extreme right anti-immigrant party (so !) and mentions that Belgium has suffered a number of race-related crimes.Reading the article you would assume this means evil righ wingers attacking poor innocent "immigrant" folk.
Well,anyone who follows what is happening on our raidly dying continent will know that the opposite is in fact true.The race related violence is almost all one way trafffic (clue it is not the white Belgians doing it).
Funny reporting,nothing to do with forthcoming Belgian elections I'll bet.